Shelton, Charles M.
Hidden Spring, USA , 2010
ISBN 978-1-058768-063-2
166 pages
“This is a ‘must read’! You really must get hold of a copy!”
This was the one-line, e-mailed review of this book which came from a Jesuit in
America .
It would be difficult to find a more concise and enthusiastic recommendation
for a book written by a Jesuit Professor of Psychology! The difficulty was
that, having obtained a copy, it then took a considerable amount of time to
read The Gratitude Factor, for all
that its pages are comparatively few.
That comment is not intended to be negative. In fact The Gratitude Factor is so well written
and thought provoking that it is not something that can be read within one or
two sessions. I found that I repeatedly opened its pages and, after a very
short time, realised that I was sitting with the book open on my lap and my
thoughts miles away in pursuit of the thoughts generated by the paragraphs I
had just finished. No problem, I thought. I’ll have plenty of time when I go on
Retreat. Hah! Shelton’s questions within the varied sections provoked exactly
the sort of self-examination intended on a Retreat and for which the ‘holiday
with the Lord’ provides.
The Gratitude Factor
describes itself as a ‘groundbreaking guide to gratitude that helps readers to
reflect on the role of gratitude in their lives and to cultivate this virtue
for their own benefit’. It continues, adding that it will ‘benefit individual
readers as well as serve as a resource for spiritual direction workshops,
spiritual formation courses or ministry formation programs’. Indeed, merely
leafing through its pages reveals a selection of valuable charts, diagrams and
writing space for personal reflections so that each chapter is also an
opportunity for deliberation and discernment.
The book’s opening pages are extremely positive. Shelton creates the
impression of being someone who is both happy and grateful. Some of his sources
of gratitude arise directly from his being a Jesuit priest and others, as a
result of his insights earned through practising psychology and through deep
and meaningful relationships.
The subtitle of the book is ‘Enhancing Your Life through
Grateful Living’. It is sad that, in today’s world, it is sometimes necessary
to highlight reasons why we should be grateful. Shelton leads the reader
through an examen intended to start the ball rolling, highlighting the
occasions and places which have impacted positively on life and the people whose
presence at one time or another have also been a blessing.
Shelton’s chapter Exploring
Gratitude is an interesting examination of obstacles to being grateful:
feelings of entitlement, victimhood, rugged individualism etc. Just as he
describes nine obstacles, so also he suggests nine strategies which can
stimulate feelings of thankfulness and appreciation. He cites some appropriate
and easy-to-understand examples when individuals experienced gratitude for one
reason or another and encourages the reader to think of parallel occasions in
his or her own life and to write them down in the spaces provided throughout
the book.
From exploring obstacles to gratitude and then strategies
for its experience, The Gratitude Factor
continues by looking at ways in which gratitude is not only recognised: it is
also helped to grow. Shelton uses a range of case histories to illustrate ways
in which various individuals moved forwards, perhaps from negativity, towards a
bright, beautiful and grateful new life. Perhaps a pivotal sentence in this
blossoming concerns identity, which Shelton describes as ‘the receptacle of
gratitude’, which we increasingly acquire as we address the question ‘Who am I?
In other words, as identity and self-discovery are both dynamic entities, so also,
gratitude is in a continual and related condition of waxing and waning
according to our openness and willingness to embrace the positive even in the
midst of negativity. Humility, a sensitive conscience and a capacity for
redemption might not be today’s most popular qualities, but they are intrinsic
to our personal development and our happiness.
Shelton is nothing if not realistic. There is a
quasi-gratitude which masquerades as the real thing but, is, as someone
remarked, “the smile which plays on the lips but never reaches the eyes”. “Quasi-gratitude
depends on situations and intentions that usually point neither strongly toward
nor strongly away from the good...” Basically, it is manipulative, self-serving
and shallow. On the other hand, “Harmful gratitude lacks a moral sense because
it is associated in some way with harmful intent...” It is hurtful, deviant or
downright malignant in nature. By looking at the imitation as well as the
genuine, The Gratitude Factor
provides a useful contrast between the impoverished and the enriched so that
the reader is able to clearly distinguish between the two forms of gratitude.
Human beings learn from each other. We all have our role
models in life. If we are to learn gratitude, we have no better example than
Jesus, whom Shelton describes as ‘God’s gratitude’. As Christians, we can make
gratitude our way of life through our good deeds, but also through the right
use of our memories, perceptions, openness, suffering and, always, through our
willingness to be empty vessels, waiting to be filled with God’s grace. Each of
us is ‘an example of God’s handiwork’ – and if that is not a cause for
gratitude, what is?
The Gratitude Factor
is an excellent book. Shelton’s language throughout is honest, uncomplicated,
practical and sincere. He might be a grateful person, but he is not patronising
in his ability to write about a quality which some people might feel to be
sadly lacking in their lives. It is valuable for personal reflection both in
private and, perhaps, in conjunction with spiritual direction or counselling.
His experience as a counsellor and as a university professor is evident in the
writing, but, more importantly, Shelton the priest permeates this book. As he
says, “As we discover and celebrate our goodness as Jesus’ brothers and
sisters, we are more able to gift others with this goodness. Gift, goodness, celebration, gratitude: these
lie at the heart of what it means to live the Christian life – following and
becoming him.
